TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
