Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
