I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
