I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
