Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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