they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
