Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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