At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
