I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
we're so committed to being not committed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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