don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
