Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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