girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
