the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
