I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
