Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry badassness hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is

Fav 26 2717 753
share tweet
(504): View more from Louisiana

so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads

Fav 24 912 7331
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(210): View more from Texas

I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.

Fav 53 3841 1261
share tweet
(708): View more from Illinois

High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.

Fav 20 5476 1205
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.

Fav 28 2708 5123
share tweet
(573): View more from Missouri

Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina

Fav 7 913 3012
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(409): View more from Texas

You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.

Fav 3 2714 1178
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(807): View more from Ontario

I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.

Fav 0 735 355
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(372): View more from

They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY

Fav 0 26 43
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT