apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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