I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
did you just send me my own nude
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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