Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
