Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
