people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
