Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
