I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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