THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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