Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
