is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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