You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
