This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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