Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So vagazzling was a success
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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