So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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