i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
