im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
