omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
