Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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