This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
tell me about the fingering
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