The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
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So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
