he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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