Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
