Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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