Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
