just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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