is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize