Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
