so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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