She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
