CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
