One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
