If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
