i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
There's even glitter on my cock...
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