That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
