I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
