he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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