i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
