So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
no, he came in my armpit
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
